LIBERTY RINGS TRUTH

Pearl Darling,

I also fondly remember your kind notices in our pseudo-literate school publications. However, do you not recall the accusatory notices that followed the reviews of your, dare I say, stellar performance?

"Pearls do shine brighter when placed next to increased ad revenue."
"Midnight Cowboy may have found a Pearl, but lost the gold to Liberty and Justice for all...of the cast of "Cuckoo!" "

I beg to differ, dear sister in Peck, but the only robbery that took place was that of your father's bank book. Now I'm not one to cast stones, but I do believe that Missy Crane Boulet, editor in chief of L'Academie Weekly, was overheard by yours truly one evening outside of the Dairy Queen on Main and Poncelet. She was trying to squeeze more money from the manager for their upcoming issue detailing the correlation of Blizzards and Blasts to Blackheads. I swore on my mother's Gutenberg bible that she used the Dunbar name and placement in that issue to her advantage. Did we not see a full double-page spread on the DQ? And wasn't your precious bank ad moved to the back behind the Doolittle's Dog Dipping coupon? That's just what I heard...

I'm sorry if this upset you. I just want the record to show that I deserved that award. Your extensive rewrites to "Midnight", which included the exclusion of the Sylvia Miles character in order to make room for your impromptu monologue/ballad during Act Two (which, by the way, did not win you any favors with Belinda Therese - Sylvia Miles' grand-niece and theatre board president), or the bold move on Midge Celestine Peck's part by playing Antigone's death scene entirely in the nude, did not sway the judging panel enough to swing their votes your way. It's time to let it go. Isn't it bad enough you'll be taking your unflattering beauty mark (Dunbar mole) to the grave instead?

As for the accusation that I, Liberty Belle Vermillion, Miss Maid O'Cotton, am a musical theatre wash-out is just plain inflammatory. How dare you??? I didn't know it meant that much to you, enough to speak of me in such ill will. Well, I guess that's something I'll just have to let go. I can't remain upset with you for too long, for we are friends and family. HOWEVER COMMA, must you be so cruel? Wasn't the fact that I lost Miss Junior Miss to some Okie from Muskogee enough? Wasn't the fact that you were named Class Treasurer and Most Likely To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying Because My Family Is So Damned Rich four years in a row important to you? Can you honestly say that winning that award would have been the pinnacle of your acting career at MPPACR? If so, then I heartily apologize for my ranting.

Forever I shall be,
Liberty Belle Vermillion
Former Miss Maid O'Cotton