AN UNGRATEFUL PEARL

My Dear Sisters,

Thanks to Midge and her "contacts" I am now stuck here in "The Show-Me State" at the Wooden Leg Theatre Company and Cabaret. While I do appreciate all that you have done for me, Midge, I have to pass along the cruelties that have befallen me since I have been here awhile.

Mr. Kinsey Franklin Hart was not at all pleased that I was healthy and functional. But he was desperate to go on with "Shortbus". He decided that I needed to feign some sort of handicap in order to "fit in" around here. We fought back and forth on this one. I found it very strange that he wanted me to suffer from Tipped Uterus Syndrome or TUS. I am aware that our headmistress, Miss Pat Peck, suffered from the same affliction. I refused. I won out! My bio now reads that for years I have learned to live and act with the most horrible of all maladies, Turrett's Syndrome. What an acting challenge!!!!!! Uncontrollable profanity is just want this play needs.

Saturday night was my debut here. I had no idea that Varina Mae Puckett was so loved here in Independence. When it was announced that I, Pearl S. Dunbar....of the Boston Dunbars, would be replacing Miss Puckett half of the audience rolled out and demanded their money refunded. Those that stayed were amazed at what they saw. Even though I am playing Stella, a secondary character, I must say that I stole the show. That not being too difficult since my cast is made up of very strange people.

Mr. Harry Pitts brings a new twist to Stanley. It seems that our Mr. Pitts was born without any arms or legs. Even though he is gifted with the most expressive, booming voice he cannot seem to pull off the physical demands of the show.

Miss Gertrude Ann Trucksilla, formerly of Clyde Beatty's Side Show, is our esteemed Blanch DuBois. Miss Trucksilla has been featured in The Guinness Book of World Records for being the only living woman to reach the impressive weight of 969lbs. Amazing as it sounds she is actually capable of pulling off the vulnerability that Blanch needs. Even though she is unable to walk without assistance, and completely bedridden the play has been blocked "around" her. When not "onstage" my character simply covers her with a large throw and she becomes a very important set piece.

The very important part of Mitch is played by the sweetest of all men. Mr. Melvin C. Williams was hit by a train his early 20's and was left with only 3% of his brain. Sweet man. Never an unkind word to say about anyone.

Hopefully I will be out of here soon. Most of the stagehands are dwarfs and I get the strangest feeling that I am being watched.

Until next time.......
Pearl

PS. Thank you again, Midge. I can't wait to repay you for this…helping hand.